what (?)

open-plan-infinity:

flacomexicano:

sleezed:

I wanna kiss you in places you’re insecure about

my hairy booty hole

(via toastbutteregg)

thanos-jeep:

The girl from vine walked so euphoria could run

(via illegalaustralien)

lubricates:

*having sex with bae and he wants you to take control*

him: “tell me what to do”

me: “never leave me”

(via deadsperm)

quorpiest:

dragontatoes:

Warm blooded creature: wow I’m chilly

Warm blooded creature: *vibrates*

Cold blooded creature: wow I’m chilly

Cold blooded creature: goes into a coma

(via only1600kids)

fruitpunchg:

gentleman-of-the-day:

I’m going to make you a sandwich.

This seems retarded, right?

See, to most guys, it’s usually the other way around. 

But no. I’m not like that. 

I want to prove to you that I’m not like the sexist guys out there in this world.

You don’t belong in a kitchen, because you belong in my heart.

Sincerely, 

Me.

(via thebootydiaries)

e-jotja-deactivated20200224:

my therapist said i need my pussy ate from the back

(via deadsperm)

a-radioactive-platypus:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was baking a strawberry shortcake for my mom when I realized that I forgot the baking powder. I began to panic so I pulled the cakes out of the oven; they were already completely baked but they rose just fine without the baking powder? I was staring at them in confusion, trying to remember if I accidentally put yeast in the batter, when I felt a shadow loom over me. I looked over my shoulder only to find Luigi. Luigi tenderly took my hands and told me, “You need not worry, for I will accompany you in any and all of your baking endeavors.” I have never felt more loved in my life. I cried.

I thought this was the mother of all shitposts and then I saw the url

(via one-time-i-dreamt)

cowboysuggest:

the two genders are matte and gloss

(via angelwisps)